Dear Friends and Family,

What I do remember from that first day is a great conversation with Gil Herdt. Herdt is the director of the Institute and a very famous gay anthropologist. He is one of the main reasons I came here. His work is respected, he has many, many books and it his ideas are exciting. There is a lot I can learn from him. And a letter of recommendation from him wouldn’t hurt either! He seemed very impressed with what he had heard about me. Not only had Florence written me a great letter of recommendation, apparently he also received email from Mac Mashall. He told me that I was the most advanced of the students who had come to the program. He also said he would like to read my master’s thesis (which I promptly when back and printed a copy of him for the next day). He also wants me to write up my dissertation proposal while I am here so that he can make suggestions. I believe this would help me a lot. It means more work but... sigh.

The first week, we have classes 9-12 and 2-5, Monday thru Thursday. The second week we will be part of an international conference. The 3rd and 4th weeks will be classes again as before. We have to take the tram (train) to and from our apartments. None of us have phones, which is why I have to use the university computers to telnet and get my email. I won’t be able to do that more than a few times a week and then not for long.

There are 25 students from all over the world. More than half are graduate students. I may be the oldest or one of the oldest. Most are 20s. Besides the U.S. and The Netherlands, they come from Israel, Brazil, Japan, Korea, Jamaica -- and a few others I haven’t asked about yet. The U.S. students primarily come here to study for the chance to do so in Europe. Many of the non-U.S. students have no sexuality studies in their own countries. Let’s see, much to my surprise, maybe half the students are straight. Most of the men are gay. Only one other woman has identified herself as bisexual. None have identified as lesbian. In this area, too, I am different. With my many layers of sexual identities, I am probably the most aware of the diversity of sexual expression and community. This is surprising to me.

I am actually a disappointed by these developments -- especially that others aren't as advanced as me. I was hoping to come to a place with peers. Again, I am the “most.” I always seem to be different, no matter what group I am in. In some ways this is nice, but in others it is lonely and tiring. I do seem to be getting along with most people though. The people I spend the most time with so far are Inbal (straight woman from Israel) and Danielle (bi woman from US). I have also visited with Chris (straight man, US), Joshua (gay US), Elliot (gay US), Jennifer (straight, US) and Amy (straight, US). There are a couple VERY straight “kids” from the US who avoid me completely. Lisa is actually pretty rude to me so far -- won’t even be polite while waiting for the tram. Inbal thinks my outspoken and knowledgeable contributions in class are intimidating so someone like Lisa. Probably, but I get tired of being treated badly because someone else is insecure. I am nervous enough about making friends.

This week, we had Gilbert Herdt taught a morning course, “Anthropology of Sexual Cultures.” He has some really important ideas about how “sexual cultures” and “identities” that are very exciting and will be a great help in my work. In the afternoon, there were two courses, “Advanced Seminar: Sexuality and Social Theory” and “Sexual Cultures of Amsterdam: Transsexuality.” Here I got into trouble -- I am suppose to be in the advanced group but I am doing work on transsexuality. Tues., Wed and Thurs. would include local guest speakers on transsexuality. So Gil and I worked out that I would attend the advanced theory course Monday, the lectures Tue-Wed. and then back into the advanced for the rest of the month. That does mean I have twice the reading for the first week. Sigh. (I do keep getting into this don’t I?)

Tuesday afternoon we had a field-trip to the Gender Team at the Free Hospital (free ideas, not cost). This is the transsexual surgery unit that I have arranged to study while here. I was able to tape their presentation which included the surgeon, lead psychologist and two transsexuals (MtF, FtM). I was also able to arrange with the Gender Team when I would be coming out to work with them -- each Friday.

Wednesday we had two transgendered people who are “3rd gendered” and were very critical of the Gender Team. Thursday’s speaker was a transgendered person who was male to female but is now living outwardly as male and privately as female. I was able to tape the this one and arrange to privately interview the other two. I also received a call from a transsexual support group with several MtF and FtM volunteers for my project. It looks like I will have no problem finding enough people to work with. Like SF, the problem will be more one of time.

Friday was amazing! I arrived at the "Free Hospital" (ideas, not cost) to work with the Gender Team at 10 AM. Not only are they cooperative, they have all my time with them scheduled. In one day I interviewed their endrocinologist, two patients, had lunch with the doctors and then was handed a white lab coat and taken with the endrocrinologists to see patients! (You could never do that in the US!) It was a full day in which I learned a great deal. (Even if I don't understand Dutch.) I am expected back Monday and for a full day each week. They have already set up times with their lead surgeon and others for interviews. I will have quite a lot of material before I am through here. Much of it comprable to that in the US pilot study -- but with some startling differences already.

Dawn