Dear Friends and Family,

I am not quite sure where to begin. I suppose in May. Finals weeks are always difficult, but with the increasing hostility from Tina and the legal battle, it was worse than ever. In the middle of finals week, Wednesday morning, I received a call from the daycare that Rowan had thrown up so he had to be taken home. I then received a call from our lawyer. Tina's lawyer had let it slip that she was moving out of town and planning to take Rowan with her. I picked up Rowan from daycare. The next day we found out that she planned to move that very weekend. We filed a restraining order to keep her from taking him. Meanwhile, our lawyer advised us that we had the right to keep him until either the order was signed by a judge or Tina signed papers that she would take him away.

The ensuing weeks were a mess. Tina moved to Grinnell. (An hour away.) She kept calling and demanding we turn Rowan over to her. She would make no promises to return him. Her lawyer kept getting both the restraining order and the temporary custody hearings postponed. We had to take Rowan out of daycare because she would steal him. And Troy had to go on a geology field trip he needed to graduate May 26 through June 8. Lon lost a lot of work time. I couldn't work at all. I turned in my second comprehensive exam but I knew it was not my best work. And so did my committee. It failed. I have to retake it and turn in by Sept.

A court date for both the restraining order and the temporary custody was set for June 5. On May 31st, Lon and I took Rowan with us to see our favorite band, Six Mile Bridge play at a local restaurant/bar. We have always taken Rowan to see them and they have become our friends. It was also Trish's birthday party so we were surrounded by friends. Just as the band was about to begin, Tina tried to kidnap Rowan. She had brought a large friend to hold us back while she grabbed him and ran. Her brother was waiting with a car in the parking lot across the street. I began screaming and all of our friends (including the band) ran after her. She had put Rowan in the back seat and was in the passenger side front. I reached in my arm and tried to unlock the door. (It was electric.) Both Tina and her brother beat on me from inside the car. (I did not hit them.) At one point they rolled up the window on my arm and began driving the car. Our amazing friends stood in front of the moving car. Then the bully friend of Tina's grabbed me and ripped me off the car - even though my arm was still trapped - and threw me to the ground. I was in a lot of pain and pretty dizzy. When I looked up I saw that our friends had surrounded the car. I am told an off duty Federal agent had been in the restaurant, came out and stopped them. The police arrived and took statements from everybody. Tina, her brother and their friend were all arrested for "assault leading to injury." Rowan was handed back to Lon. I was taken to the emergency room. Nothing is broken. I had some pretty bad abrasions, bruises and sprains. I had to keep my left arm in a sling for a week and see the chiropractor quite a number of times. The bruises took several weeks to heal.

Rowan and I both had nightmares all week. The judge who arraigned them refused to sign a no contact order so I had to go to another judge and get a domestic abuse restraining order. It is illegal for Tina to come anywhere near me now nor Rowan when he is in our custody. I wish I could say that the other court hearing went well. We got a cowardly judge who refused to decide even temporary custody and postponed it to July 16. Instead, he ordered equal time with both Tina and us on a weekly basis. So less than a week after the assault we had to turn Rowan over to her for a week. One week with her, one week with us until the next custody hearing.

Since we had to turn Rowan over to her, Lon and I decided we would go to "witchcamp" anyway. "Witchcamp" is a week long spiritual retreat and intensive spiritual work in Wicca. I went last year and it was an amazing experience. So Lon and I went. It was very healing. We were able to leave behind much of our fear and sorrow and immerse ourselves in a very loving environment. Lon can even dance now! He finally let go of his own harsh judgement of himself long enough to let his body move to the drums. I spent the week trying to learn how to shut off Tina and the judge's voice in my head. I am getting better at it. We spent the week away from TV, phones, email, pagers. Diana's Grove is a 102 lush acres of woods, streams, and fields. It was breathtaking. The magic work was grounding and enlightening.

So we arrived back in town on the 13th. Troy and a friend had picked up Rowan from Tina that morning. It was so nice to all be together again. Troy hadn't seen any of us in three weeks. Rowan missed us very much too. He is so amazing. On his second birthday I noticed he was saying "more" to mean more than one. So I taught him to count to two and then three. When I taught him to count to two using his hands and toys, he looked up a me with a big grin and said "two daddies." He delights in telling everyone how he has "two daddies." He also calls us all by both "title" and "name" now - "Daddy Lon" "Daddy Troy" and "Momma Dawn." Of course, he pronounces Troy like "tuey" but we understand.

Things went into high gear again when we got back. Lon, our friends and I had been planning for at least six months for Troy and I's tenth wedding anniversary on June 18. It was to be a surprise party and renewal of our vows. Troy, ever the romantic, kept saying sweet things to me like how he "would marry me all over again" so we knew this would work. We pulled it off. Troy was surprised and delighted. Of course, Lon was surprised. Because even though Troy didn't know about the plans, he had wanted to include Lon in whatever we did. He wanted to buy him a ring. So we picked out a beautiful Celtic knotwork ring for Lon. I wore my original wedding gown (Victorian style with white satin, re-embroidered lace, beads and a five-foot long train). I had rented a white tux and tails for Troy just like he originally wore. I even had flowers and balloons the same colors/styles as ten years ago. Our whole coven was involved in the planning and the ceremony. Lon was the "minister" but half way through, after Troy and I had restated our original vows, Trish took over and we presented our ring to Lon with a statement of our love a commitment to him. Rowan was the ring-bearer. We all cried. It was incredibly romantic.

Meanwhile, there was no time to stop. Thursday was the anniversary. Friday night was the bachelor/bachelorette parties for our friends Merf and Amber. (Lon was best man.) Saturday was Pride Festival and Parade at which our Pagan group had the food concessions. Saturday night our coven got together at the lake to celebrate Summer Solstice with a "Midsummer's Eve Ritual" written by Jen in the style of Shakespeare. Sunday was Merf and Amber's handfasting (Wiccan wedding). Sunday night we fell into an exhausted heap.

Today, I am trying to catch up on the hundreds of unanswered email messages. I also have to find out how to set up a legal defense fund. Tina's affidavit's accuse us of being in a "cult" - she is now claiming to be straight and not Wiccan. We have an ugly and long legal battle still ahead of us. Meanwhile, I have two collections in progress that are overdue and a million details to catch up on. And we have just over a month until we move.

Good news includes: The advance copy of my book LOOKING QUEER came while I was at camp. The first reading and book signing is this Thursday at Prairie Lights Bookstore. My publisher is setting up a book tour in both California and on the East Coast in the Fall. . My second book will be out in the Fall as well. Troy was offered teaching assistantships for his first year at San Francisco State. So that is the program he is going with. Lon was accept at all three of the places he applied, and will be going to John F. Kennedy University in Orinda. Lon and I are planning to go back to the Bay Area on July 5 to look for a place to live. Troy is in summer school and will have is BA in Geology when he has completed the summer math class.

Your love and support is appreciated. I always enjoy hearing from you.

Dawn