It has been a year of joys and sorrows -- and a decade of disappointment and wonder. With the end of 1989 we bring to a close an amazing year of changes and upheaval. We also see the end of the decade of our maturity.

For myself, I am looking back over the last ten years and the memories of my majority. In 1980, I turned 18, graduated from high school, began work as a journalist, won a scholarship and started college. A decade later I find myself evaluating my successes and failures of this period. It took me nearly ten years, with many important side roads along the way, but I finally have my college degree. I also wonder about the friends of the years gone by. I left some of you behind when I went to college and even more when I moved to California in 1984. I often wonder about those I haven't seen in so long. My life is full, but still I miss you.

In 1986, I moved to Santa Cruz and went back to college. That same year I met Troy and my mother and sister moved out from Oklahoma. Two years later, Troy and I married.

This last year has been another period of turmoil -- and the dust has yet to settle. We have gained and lost a lot and now find ourselves going through big changes both externally and internally.

Early in the year, Troy finished his training in advanced computer-aided drafting. With this additional training, he was able to start work this fall as a full time drafter for Silicon Systems. He is paid well, has good benefits and he likes the work.

In addition, Troy and I began our own networking marketing business. The business, Atkins-McKee Unlimited, is doing well and growing fast.

My sisters, too, have had momentous years. Both Sam and Beth are now legally married. (They had been common law married.) Sam and Joe had a beautiful baby girl last April. Her name is Jessica Dawn. (Yes, I am very flattered.) I only hope I will be able to see her before she is all grown. Angela graduated from high school and moved into management at Burger King She has grown into a remarkably responsible person.

My mother, Mary, is doing well too. She is still working as a Typist Clerk III at the Santa Cruz County Planning Dept.

Last spring, I finished my classes and went through graduation ceremonies for my Bachelor of Arts degrees in Anthropology and Writing from the University of California. I spent the summer and the fall completing the thesis work for these degrees. This fall I continued taking classes, now as a graduate student in Anthropology. I hope to be pursuing a Ph.D. in Medical Anthropology.

On Oct. 17, a 7.1 earthquake hit Santa Cruz. Although no one in my immediate family was injured, it was a traumatic experience. Our house received only minor damage but large parts of our beloved town were destroyed -and a friend of ours was buried in the rubble. It took them two days to find the body of our friend Robin -- two days of fights with the press and police, of friends holding each other and crying and of desperately hoping. For two days we were catapulted into the spotlight of international news. I am told my face was on CNN news and my name was in papers across the country. After her body was found, we hid from the press and they eventually forgot us. Then the job of dealing with her death began in earnest. We had to arrange a memorial and take care of the survivors -- her lover, her brother and many close friends. It was an intensely painful and yet loving time. It will be a long time before we will feel "normal" again

Now the bulldozers have moved in and brought down the buildings we used to shop and eat in -- more than buildings, but places that symbolized the spirit of our home. They will rebuild our downtown and the homes of our neighbors, but they will never be able to replace what we have lost -- nor explain what we found in the rubble and chaos of those days. In the months that have followed, we have gone through dramatic changes. Personally, I have uncovered parts of myself usually buried. The quake brought down the facades we usually hide behind. Part of that discovery has, for me, been the rediscovering of my spirituality. It has also been the reliving of old losses. As I learn to heal these wounds, old and new, I hope to grow and move on into a future where my foundations are stronger and able to sway with life's disasters.

We enter into a new decade with a feeling of rebirth. As Phoenix rises from the ashes, so will Santa Cruz. I am frightened but excited by the prospects of my own renaissance to come. I hope our future, and yours, is one in which we can embrace our joys and gain wisdom from our sorrows. We hope, too, that you will be part of that future.

Love,
Dawn Atkins and Troy McKee
251 Sheldon Ave.
Santa Cruz, CA 95060

(408) 426-1821