Dear Friends and Family,

I have been putting this off for a while. Actually, I tend to avoid writing people when things aren't going well. It is easy to talk about things I am doing and things I like. Very hard for me to share painful experiences. So I will try my best to be honest with my friends and family, but it is hard.

First, Tina is moving out. At present, Lon is not. Tina has already put a deposit on an apartment and our house is full of boxes. She is not being nice about it and things are very tense. She dictates to us rather than discusses things. She seems bent on making things as painful as possible. Which means, of course, she is using Rowan as a weapon. We do what she wants and we can have him a couple evenings a week and every other weekend.

I facilate between depression and rage. It is hard to concentrate and I am falling behind in my work. I am trying to throw myself into my work and leave the raging/crying for counseling. Easier said than done. I am taking care of myself -- even managing to eat most of the time. Maybe it will be eaiser once she is out of the house and I don't have to be constantly reminded of the situation. In the long run, we will probably need a lawyer to deal with the custody issues. I have no clue where we will get the money.

I will never understand why people who say they love me, spend years with me and then turn and treat me so miserably. Your energy/prayers of help are appreciated.

Love,
Dawn